Did you hear about the kid who was pulled over for speeding?
The cop got out of his car and the young man rolled down his window.

“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.

The guy replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner." No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!"

Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

"Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this was a bus stop."

A man has too much to drink at a party. His friends offer to drive him home, but the says no--he only lives a mile away.

About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a call for a robbery taking place in a house just a block away.

The police tell him to stay put; they will be right back - and they run down the street to the robbery.

After a few minutes, the man decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.

A few hours later, the police knock on the door. They ask if a Mr. X lives there, and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.

The police ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door--where they find the police car, lights still flashing.

St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids."

"Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."

A few moments later a second man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers."

"Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."

A few moments later a third man walks up.

"Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?"

"I was a policeman," he responded.

"What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked.

"I was a Military Policeman, Sir."

"Excellent my son, I have to leave for a bit, watch the gate will you?"